Buku yang baru saya baca dibawah ini dapat berguna karena bahan bahasannya berakar dari praktek klinis dan di generalisasikan/ di aplikasikan kepada dunia kerja (Psikologi Industri dan Organisasi)..

Dr. Stephan B. Poulter, seorang Psikolog Klinis dari Los Angeles California, membahas tentang pengaruh "ayah" di dalam kesuskesan karir seorang laki-laki di dalam bukunya yang terbaru : "The Father Factor". Yang menarik dari bukunya adalah bagaimana ia membahas lebih banyak tentang pengaruh Ayah terhadap perkembangan anak (khususnya laki2x) secara general dan pilihan karir/ kesuksesan secara khusus. Pandangan ini tidaklah terlalu "umum" di dalam pandangan psikoanalisa "klasik" yang lebih banyak membahas tentang ibu atau pengaruh kesehatan mental/ hubungan ibu anak terhadap kesehatan mental anak saat dewasa. Sudut pandang ini sangatlah jelas dalam pandangan Freudian/ Neo Freudian dan sedikit terlihat dalam "Object Relations" / "British school" (walaupun di dalam Object Relation kata "ibu" dan "primary object" yang bisa juga adalah laki2x masih dipakai secara bergantian tetapi umumnya yang dibahas adalah "ibu/ W A N I T A"). Sedangkan keberadaaan ayah/ Laki2x tergambar sebagai latar belakang (secondary) dan manifestasinya baru terlihat pada masa "phallic".

Namun di dalam buku-bukunya terutama buku yang terbaru ini, Dr. Poulter membahas tentang peranan ayah sedari usia dini. Ia mengelompokkan ayah2x di dalam 4 kelompok yaitu "Super Achiever", Time Bomb", "Passive" dan "Absent". Ia mencontohkan dirinya yang ia sebut memiliki "absent father" yang menurutnya megakibatkan seorang anak menjadi "over achiever" dan mencoba menjadi seseorang yang sangat bertolak belakang dengan si "absent father tsb" dengan menjadi sangat "available". Selanjutnya ia mengatakan bahwa Anak2x dari "absent fathers" umumnya memiliki masalah dengan otoritas dan bisanya "tidak akur" dengan boss (terutama laki2x) namun anak2x ini sangat bisa menjadi "enterpreneur" dan menjadi "their own bosses". Buku ini tidak semata2x membahas tentang "defisiensi" atau pengaruh negatif dari tipe2x ayah tersebut. Ia juga membahas tentang kekuatan2x/ efek positifnya terhadap perkembangan anak baik laki2x maupun perempuan.

Menurut saya, buku ini sangat menarik dan saya banyak setuju dengan pendapat Dr Poulter yang sangat egalitarian terhadap gaya parenting. banyak "tradisi" keluarga indonesia yang kebanyakan masih menganut "paham segregasi" antara peran ayah dan ibu, dimana ayah berperan sebagai pencari nafkah utama sementara ibu (baik bekerja maupun tidak) menjadi "care giver" yang utama.Sekali lagi buku ini sangat mengajukan gaya parenting yang "egalitarian" dimana ayah2x diingatkan untuk turut berperan aktif di dalam perkembangan anaknya (bila ingin anaknya bahagia dan sukses ketika dewasa nanti).

English review:
In his book "father factor", DR Stephan Poulter discussed about the imporant roles fathers have in influencing the career choice and determining the "success" of their children's life, especially the sons.

His point of view is deemed "unusual" from the perspective of classical psychoanalisis (freudian/ Neo Freudian) which often talks about the sole role of the mothers in determining their children's wellbeing as the children mature. The roles of fathers are usually become a secondary (auxiliary roles) and only comes into effect when the children reach phallic stage (aroud 8-10 years of age). British school/ object relation perspective, however, acknowledge "fathers" as one of the primary object attachment who will affect the "security" of the child's attachement to their adult close relationship. But neither of these "schools" have put the importance of the fathers onto the childs career decisions and the leadership style as practical as Dr Poulter just did in his book.

In his book, DR Poulter classified the fathers into 4 groups, namely "super achiever", "time bomb", "passiv", and "absent". He used himself as an example in explaining a "product" of an "absent father". According to him the sons of of the absent fathers would be very driven and become over achiever and very available, someone who is an antithesis of the father. The children of the absent fathers are usually have problems with authority, does not get along easily with their bosses, but they are very good in becoming their own bosses and they are the natural enterpreneurs because they usually are self motivated and internally driven. Most importantly, this book talks about both the negative and the positive characteristics of each of the "father type" to their children, male and female." in a very objective manner.

I personally really like this book because it really emphasizes about the positive aspects of egalitarian style of parenting which divide the powers fairly between the male and female in the family. This point of view is an important input for Indonesian families who segregates the roles between male and female in a more traditional perspective. Male is the sole breadwinner and thus "released" from the work of parenting. Women on the other hand have the responsibility in raising the children eventhough sometimes they also has additional responsibilities in helping out with the family's finances. In summary, this book is a sweet reminder for fathers who really want their children to be trully successful in their adult life and also for the mothers to let their men be more involved in the parenting practice..